The Old Millenial and the "Si"
There's nothing like an emotional shake-up to provide clarity. And the 2017- 2018 period did just that, figuratively pummeling me into a sitting position. Not downward dog, not kneeling, and not (thankfully) fetal position. Just enough to force a slowed pace and an examination of priorities.
During that time, I gained up to 30 pounds, lost and found clients, cradled a dog as he was put to sleep in my arms, hurdled over emotional barriers created by familial medical issues, and ended a long-term relationship.
I was exhausted. And failing miserably at self-care. "I don't have time for it," I'd mutter to myself, as I pulled all-nighters and get ahead of ... I don't know. Whatever else could go wrong.
During coffee with a friend, coach and personal mentor, I blurted out my woes. He called bullshit.
"You make time for the things that are important for you. You don't think your health is important. That's the real issue. When you think it's important, you'll make time."
I began to work out again and set my diet as a lifestyle, instead of as a short-term goal. On the wagon, off the wagon. On the wagon, off the wagon. The consistency of my workouts remained that way until I downloaded Tinder.
The dating app was a hot, dumpster fire of a mess. I laughed and despaired - and saved the profile screenshots. One particular entanglement, a family crisis, and an unrelated flareup of generalized anxiety/depression later, I was eaten up with emotional ennui. My productivity suffered. My friend's words rang again in my ear.
"Team No-Feelings," I assured myself, as I took up his recommended workout routines and began layering a half-marathon workout on top of them.
Every time my feet hit the pavement, however slowly, self-doubt was erased and endorphins rose. Sporadic selfie sessions on Instagram and Facebook provided a weak paper trail of accomplishments, although my coach had advised keeping a consistent journal in addition to app check-ins to track progress.
I hit 13.1 miles on June 18th, at a run time of 2:13. It wasn't perfect. It was painful. My ill-prepared take on training (I didn't lean on my coach) led to insufficient nutritional intake, a sprained left tendon, and multiple blisters.
I decided to keep running as a supplement to my weight-lifting, and visited Varsity Sports to buy my dream shoes as a reward. As the footwear consultant measured and assessed, she kept up a light conversation.
"What are you training for?"
We locked eyes, and the moment took control.
"A marathon."
I'd never wanted to run a marathon. I always told myself I didn't care for it, there was nothing to prove. And I hate running. As I grappled with this ludicrous statement, I downloaded a marathon training schedule onto my phone. In that moment, I became a full-fledged, Jim Carrey "Yes Man".
The woman, obviously an experienced runner, continued her assessment. I asked her how she started her running. She smiled. Asking someone about a personal self-care journey is like asking for a "how we met" - except there's never a sad ending. We traveled through her experiences together - a fellow emotional ennui twin.
She snapped her tanned, lean frame into an alert position and stared again.
"Find someone who supports your training. You can't not. It takes up too much time. You need someone who'll support you, and your goals, and will cheer you on."
I laughed. A need? I'm not an athlete or trying out for the Olympics. Why would I need emotional support? She nodded gravely.
"It sounds off, but you'll see what I mean."
It's been about a week since that interaction. My shoes have been ordered and I am dedicated to feeling less than whole until they arrive. I confessed my past training sins, and my coach sufficiently griped at me about proper nutrition and maintenance. I cuddle with my new foam roller consistently now.
I'm still following the marathon schedule. It's a little slow, since there's been a week of vacation about a couple of weeks into training. I'll keep y'all posted.
Please share your personal tips and tricks for self-care, personal motivation and workouts!
During that time, I gained up to 30 pounds, lost and found clients, cradled a dog as he was put to sleep in my arms, hurdled over emotional barriers created by familial medical issues, and ended a long-term relationship.
I was exhausted. And failing miserably at self-care. "I don't have time for it," I'd mutter to myself, as I pulled all-nighters and get ahead of ... I don't know. Whatever else could go wrong.
During coffee with a friend, coach and personal mentor, I blurted out my woes. He called bullshit.
"You make time for the things that are important for you. You don't think your health is important. That's the real issue. When you think it's important, you'll make time."
I began to work out again and set my diet as a lifestyle, instead of as a short-term goal. On the wagon, off the wagon. On the wagon, off the wagon. The consistency of my workouts remained that way until I downloaded Tinder.
The dating app was a hot, dumpster fire of a mess. I laughed and despaired - and saved the profile screenshots. One particular entanglement, a family crisis, and an unrelated flareup of generalized anxiety/depression later, I was eaten up with emotional ennui. My productivity suffered. My friend's words rang again in my ear.
"Team No-Feelings," I assured myself, as I took up his recommended workout routines and began layering a half-marathon workout on top of them.
Every time my feet hit the pavement, however slowly, self-doubt was erased and endorphins rose. Sporadic selfie sessions on Instagram and Facebook provided a weak paper trail of accomplishments, although my coach had advised keeping a consistent journal in addition to app check-ins to track progress.
I hit 13.1 miles on June 18th, at a run time of 2:13. It wasn't perfect. It was painful. My ill-prepared take on training (I didn't lean on my coach) led to insufficient nutritional intake, a sprained left tendon, and multiple blisters.
I decided to keep running as a supplement to my weight-lifting, and visited Varsity Sports to buy my dream shoes as a reward. As the footwear consultant measured and assessed, she kept up a light conversation.
"What are you training for?"
We locked eyes, and the moment took control.
"A marathon."
I'd never wanted to run a marathon. I always told myself I didn't care for it, there was nothing to prove. And I hate running. As I grappled with this ludicrous statement, I downloaded a marathon training schedule onto my phone. In that moment, I became a full-fledged, Jim Carrey "Yes Man".
The woman, obviously an experienced runner, continued her assessment. I asked her how she started her running. She smiled. Asking someone about a personal self-care journey is like asking for a "how we met" - except there's never a sad ending. We traveled through her experiences together - a fellow emotional ennui twin.
She snapped her tanned, lean frame into an alert position and stared again.
"Find someone who supports your training. You can't not. It takes up too much time. You need someone who'll support you, and your goals, and will cheer you on."
I laughed. A need? I'm not an athlete or trying out for the Olympics. Why would I need emotional support? She nodded gravely.
"It sounds off, but you'll see what I mean."
It's been about a week since that interaction. My shoes have been ordered and I am dedicated to feeling less than whole until they arrive. I confessed my past training sins, and my coach sufficiently griped at me about proper nutrition and maintenance. I cuddle with my new foam roller consistently now.
I'm still following the marathon schedule. It's a little slow, since there's been a week of vacation about a couple of weeks into training. I'll keep y'all posted.
Please share your personal tips and tricks for self-care, personal motivation and workouts!
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